Happiness

First: At the time I logged in to write this post, this blog had 4,029 page views. HOLY CRAP. Thank you for following me and joining me through my journey. It's not over yet, so stay tuned for more.

Today, I returned from my lunch break completely fascinated by how happy I am. Now, you might think, "what's so fascinating about being happy?" but honestly, a whole lot. I've always been naturally happy, at least that's what my mom tells me, and I've been through periods in my short 23 years where I've had to step back and say, "I'm not happy, I'm not my usual self, what's wrong?" but for the most part, I just ENJOY being happy, and if I don't have anything to be upset about, then it's natural for me to just be happy. I have a rare, quiet "neutral" where I'm in the middle and content not being on one end of the spectrum, but I'd say my personal average is "happy." But I still pause and start to think, "What in the world got me here?!" because it's pretty damn awesome and I'd like to send a shout-out (think Grammy acceptance speech) for everyone and everything that contributes to this awesomeness. 

One reason why it blows me away so much is because I also have this natural thing I do called FREAK THE HELL OUT. It's triggered by stress and comes with a pile of anxiety, lack of sleep, and a feeling of "I need to call my parents for life advice." (Thanks, guys. You rock.) And normally, at a time like now, I WOULD be freaking out. I'm applying to jobs, which includes trying to figure out which city I'll be living in, and having NO IDEA where it'll take me, I'm not receiving a whole lot of response, I'm about to leave our amazing project site and the connections I've made behind, and I have no idea where Round 2 will take me or what I'll be doing (nothing scares me more than the unknown!). And if there's one thing I love, it's a plan. A solid, fool-proof plan with Plans A, B, C, and D complete with appendices for problem-solving and crisis action plans in case something goes wrong. I mean, I plan my free time for goodness' sake. So why the heck am I so comfortable and happy not having any of my plans solidified for after next Sunday? I have NO IDEA. But I think I'm at a place where I know two things:

1. It's all going to be okay.
2. If it isn't, I know I'll be able to MAKE it be okay. 

And I think that's one huge lesson I've learned in AmeriCorps. We can't plan for everything, but we can prepare ourselves for anything. And if you try hard enough, you can make anything happen. Do the best with what you've got. I've learned that here, too. We have limited everything! As long as I mentally prepare myself for the fact that I have little to zero control over what happens for my next round, and that the only control I have over securing a job for June are trying to show off my writing skills in a cover letter and my resume, know that I also have a few more months, a hell of a lot of motivation and drive, and amazing people supporting me every step of the way, then I know I'll be okay. And when it comes down to it, the more things we look at that we have to appreciate, the more things we FIND to appreciate. And the more things I think about to make me happy, I will find more things that make me happy. Even the little things. The grass might be greener on the other side, but the other side might not have the people and things I appreciate here, so I better not be in too much of a rush to get there.


Thanks for reading! We return to Mississippi for Transition on March 31st, and are scheduled to deploy to Round 3 for our next assignment. Stay tuned to find out where we go, and check out my team on our facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/heckyeahfootball. and share the blog and Facebook with your friends! Leave notes in the comments section, too!