A mini-update

We're halfway through round 1 in Denver, CO. I write this blog as I hang out at a local coffee shop, buying tea instead of coffee because it's cheaper and I feel guilty bumming Wi-Fi off of a place without being a paying customer. 

Okay, so it's not THAT bad, but it's a true story. But honestly, Free WiFi is the AmeriCorps equivalent of Gold. Want something done by a 20-something year old? Offer them WiFi in return. And/or a cup of coffee. You'll be amazed at the excitement that suddenly appears.

I have a lot of things I've learned, but mostly I've been using previous lessons to handle situations. I am surrounded by Team Green friends and love, and I have minimal personal issues and just spend my time trying to balance team life, my life, and overcome team obstacles. I don't think I'm in the mood for a heavy self-reflection, so I'm going to go over my top AmeriCorps Life Lessons:

Here are a few rules/guidelines/thing I've learned while here:

• Never say no to free food. If you don't want it, someone on your team does.
• You'll only be nervous about spending a day in a coffee shop to use their Wi-Fi the first time.
• If it costs money, you better do a thorough cost-benefit analysis in your head and figure how much money you're spending per smallest unit possible (second, crumb, step, etc.) and what type of return on investment you're getting to determine the answer to the big question: Is it worth it?
• Full price? What's that? Never, ever pay full-price for anything because you can get it cheaper. Except coffee. Usually, one pays full-price for coffee. And that's okay.
• *Never pay full-price for a RedBox movie.
• Snail mail is cool. Email is cheaper, but when you have limited WiFi access, sacrifices must be made. It is also more fun to send and receive letters than it is to click "send" and receive notifications on your phone.
• Cooking involves cleaning and both are exhausting when you have to do them ALL. THE. TIME. 
• No, seriously. Cleaning has to happen a minimum of 3x/day to keep a tiny motel room livable. 
• Unfolded laundry is the devil. It makes everything seem like Hell. Tackle that task right away. 
• You never know the meaning of too many clothes until you live in AmeriCorps, because while you always have too many, you never EVER have enough. Don't try to fill that void, just learn to accept it and move on. You'll never achieve that perfect balance.
• Target is a magical place, but don't go there. Just DON'T DO IT. Any place that includes makeup, clothes, cute stationery, winter accessories, AND starbucks is a trap. You don't need it.
• Take care of each other, especially your roommates. Sometimes someone else might just need you to cook a little extra so they can have some too. Don't rely on them to make the bed every day, don't get mad that you're the only one who hangs the floor towel up outside of the shower. Or even if you're the only one who gets toilet paper from the front desk. It may feel like it goes unnoticed, but when you need them to take care of you, they will. 

I must say, I am having the time of my life here. It's one wild rollercoaster ride, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I love it here, and it is pushing me to keep doing these awesome things with my life. When I expressed that I wanted to join AmeriCorps, most people thought I was off my rocker and completely lost my mind, or I was on some crazy hippie journey to better the world (it consequently happened at the same time I decided to go vegan) but in all reality, it just felt like a good idea. And to be honest, it was the best idea I've ever had. There are days when I already wish it could be June and I'd be done with the program, but most days I am so happy where I am and so thankful for the things in my life that got me to where I am today. I appreciate life outside of the program a lot more, and realize how much I took for granted. That's one of the big reasons I joined. I knew that I never had to live a challenging life or face any hardships, and I wanted to refocus myself and adjust my outlook. And I definitely have. I see myself including service into the rest of my life, maybe not on a 24/7 all-year scale, but I'll continue to do as much as I can. I'm only 1/3 of the way through this program and 1/2 of the way through this project, so I am excited for my upcoming experiences and I'll try to update this blog more often (given that I have access to WiFi). My work here is far from over, and I still have lessons to learn.

Allie, A Mile High

No, that't not a reference to anything illegal or indecent. It's a reference to the fact that I'm in the most beautiful place, surrounded by the most beautiful people, and I feel like I'm on the top of the world. 

Entering: Colorado.

It's been a while since I last blogged. In fact, last time I blogged, my plan was to head to Bothell, Washington! Things have definitely changed. Let's rewind about 18 days and I'll give you the highlights reel.

Tuesday 10/8: Plan: Head to Washington! Actual happening: Government shutdown puts all teams on hold. We head to Camp Gray instead for chainsaw training, trail clearing, and some good old outdoor fun.

Camp Gray: Chainsaws, axes, and machetes. Sleep in tents, have campfires, watch the meteor shower on cots with your best friend, chat about life. It doesn't get much better than this. It was a perfect two days.

Return from Camp Gray: Thursday morning 10/10/2013: Happy Birthday to me! Staff meeting 8:30am. Deployment update: We can't head to our original destinations, but teams are allowed to be deployed to disaster zones. A few teams headed to Missouri and Texas, 6 teams headed to Denver, CO! I'm one of the 6 headed to Denver! Depart by 8am Friday morning. Spend birthday making clearance packet, getting team packed/ready, forget to pack self (did that at 1am...oops), and don't have time to celebrate. Team made me a homemade cake (not from a box!) and had lots of hugs. Yay!

Friday 10/11: Depart from campus at 8:30am (not too far from our goal) and head to Texas. There's nothing in North Texas except for really awesome rest stops. Keep it up, TX. 

Saturday 10/12: Enter CO. HOLY GORGEOUS. This place is beautiful. Can I stay? Oh right, I have two months of this. Soak it all in and never let a day go by where you don't appreciate the mountains. (I've kept up with that. It still blows my mind every day. More on that later.)

Sunday/Monday: Explore Denver! We had a nice hotel Sunday night and we have all day to do what we want. Hurray! We're here! I'm sick of the van, and driving! Move in to our extended stay hotel motel on Monday. The conditions are... adequate. I have one working stove burner (out of two), a mini refrigerator that freezes everything (even on the lowest temperature setting), no toaster, and no oven. But it's more than some people have so we'll make it work! It's AmeriCorps, and we can chalk this one up to Life Experience.

Start at JFO on Tuesday 10/15. Work is slow but bearable, realize quickly there isn't time for much else, they want us to work weekends? What about ISPs and NCCC requirements? Talk to POCs, negotiate days off for sanity/mental health reasons and ISP/SLI opportunities.
*ISP = Independent Service Project
*SLI = Service Learning Initiative

That's where I'm at now! We've been working, and it gets better the longer we're there. I'm still working out some things for work in the office, but it's going well. We did an AWESOME ISP yesterday for Make A Difference Day, helping tear down damaged sheds and porches from the floods so the homeowners can rebuild. Their houses are actually total losses as well, which was devastating to see, but they are in high spirits and really just want their neighborhood to be back together again. To see them all working together and helping each other out with their homes was really uplifting. They have lost almost everything, and rebuilding isn't easy, but they don't let it show. They have such a drive to keep moving forward. I helped a woman move and re-plant her marigolds. She said she didn't care about everything else, but the flowers brought beauty to the neighborhood and she wanted something nice to look at, and for others to see. It was such a heavy moment for me to think about that and I really admire her strength.

I've also had awesome interactions with the Denver campus Team Leaders. We work with many of them in the JFO, and one invited another TL and me to share his office with him. It was really generous of him, and I am happy to have a place to settle every day. I've made it over to the Denver campus a couple of times, and their staff has been really supportive of my team and me. I have had positive interactions with their traditional corps TLs, and I'm glad we went out with some of the FEMA Corps TLs from Denver and got to know them. I've had an awesome two weeks and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Oh, and the mountains.
Let me tell you why I love Denver.

My favorite things are mountains, fall, cities, sunshine, snow that doesn't last too long, friendly people, and easy access/walking distance to stores/restaurants/things to do. I have all of that here! I drive to work every day and admire the view. My team now just rolls their eyes at me because I can't stop talking about it. Sometimes, the mountains look like a perfectly painted scenery in the background, like a backdrop to a movie or something. Or even like in the Truman Show and someone placed it there to look perfect, change with the seasons/time of day, and make me believe it's real. Sometimes they look like a watercolor painting, not too much detail but enough color and shape to catch the eye. They are so many kinds of beautiful. And then, I can drive right to Denver. In fact, we're only about 4 miles away, so if I felt ambitious (and like freezing my rear end off), I could walk there. I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to be here, even if it's temporary. If I love it this much, I could even make it permanent if I want to. I'm at a point in my life where the possibilities are endless, and I love it.

I've also attended Pure Barre classes again (something I did in Boston for a while) and I can join the really nice YMCA for $8/month (I'll probably sign up today). There's absolutely nothing that I DON'T like about this place so far.

Off we go!

CTI came to a close about a week and a half ago, and we had our induction ceremony. It was an awesome day for FEMA Corps Class 20, and we had great speakers and really excellent cake. Everyone was ready for FEMA Academy, which was this past week at campus. FEMA Instructors came from all over to teach our corps about specialty positions and make sure they are all certified in their roles. Aside from a few technical glitches, the week went smoothly for the corps. Us TLs were supporting the instructors and preparing to head out on round 1.

That reminds me, it is now round 1. We are all preparing to head out to our first projects, and we've had quite a busy week with project assignments,  preparing clearance packets, and the million other things that we need to do in order to depart. My team is very excited for our trip, and really excited for our assignment. Round 1 lasts until December 22nd-ish (we don't actually know the date, we just guess), and we will return to Vicksburg and then head to our families for Christmas. Well, that is, if a disaster doesn't strike and we end up working through Christmas and don't have a break for the holidays. Anything can happen, disasters are unpredictable and it has happened before. 

So I've kept you in suspense long enough. My team is made up of public assistance specialists, hazard mitigation specialists, and logistics specialists. We have been assigned to FEMA's region 10 office in Bothell, WA to work on mitigation and public assistance projects in the pacific northwest. There are also chances of of working with tribal liasons and some fire planning projects. We are SO EXCITED for this opportunity, and we are really excited to be near Seattle for the next couple of months. Personally, I am also excited to be near my sister! She lives a little south of Bothell, but I should definitely be able to see her some weekends. And my dad! My dad is visiting her at the end of October with my grandmother, so I'll be able to see some family. I am really excited to see everyone. She also invited us over for Thanksgiving, which is super awesome of her and I realized today that I'll be able to witness the first birthday/first cake celebration for one of my nephews :) How awesome is that?!

My biggest challenge right now is planning my travel route. Crazy weather right now in the Dakotas, so the north-then-west route seems like a bad idea (remember, we are in a 15-passenger van!) and then with everything that happened in Colorado, Google Maps says that some roads might be missing. AWESOME. Also, taking a directly east-to-west route across the rockies from Denver to Salt Lake City in a 15p seems like a bad idea (the snow could be bad, and the roads might not be the best). So we could go South, and take routes through the desert in New Mexico and Nevada, or we could go through Arizona and up through California. No matter which route we take its 4-5 days, we are only allowed to drive a max of 10 hours per day and no more than a 12 hour total travel day. Oh, and we can't exceed 65mph in a government vehicle. This could take forever... Any road trip hints for 10 people traveling in an enclosed space together for 100 hours?

The other challenge is that I have spent 11 weeks here. I have made many new friends and I love all of Team Green and I really don't want to leave anyone. Many teams are being deployed to areas where there are also other teams, but I am the only one from here that is going to Washington. Actually, everyone else is in DC, Texas, Missouri, North Carolina, Maryland, Virginia, Chicago, Alabama, Louisiana, and Georgia. I'm the furthest away, without other teams nearby. It's exciting, and I know Gulf 2 will have many opportunities to bond and hang out together, but I know I'm going to miss my Team Green friends. I really love being surrounded by these people every day and knowing that we'll be far apart is a bit sad. We just lost 3 of us to Baltimore's campus, but they'll also be near some of our teams. I know I'll always have all of Team Green for support, and I'll always be there to support everyone on Team Green, but I'll still be 2000-3000 miles away from everyone. I'm trying to remain positive and look at the exciting things about this journey, because I know there will be plenty.

Right now, all teams are scheduled to depart on Tuesday, so the rest of today and all of tomorrow will be spent prepping for departure. Bon Voyage, FEMA Corps Class 20! Best of luck to all of our teams, and I'll send as many pictures from G2's road trip as possible. 

Camp. Work. Play.

The photo above is me, shoveling a driveway (obviously). It has significance because it was the first time I had shoveled a driveway. I was 21 years old. It was the first time I had done any "work" outdoors. I'm sure I've helped move things here and there but I haven't really been very productive in the yard throughout my life.

This photo is from the only time I actually REMEMBER camping. I went when I was 17 with my friend Paige and her family. We slept in her car (Chevy Blazer) and I don't remember what we ate or how - but someone probably cooked it for us and served it to us. We didn't do much work. In fact, THIS is how I felt about camping, before this past week happened.

This past week changed my life. I know, it sounds dramatic. But it really did. We left last Sunday for Camp Lake Stevens in Oxford, MS, 4 hours north of Vicksburg. We stayed in fully air conditioned cabins with clean, functioning bathrooms - for free. But what we all know in life is that nothing is free. In exchange for our stay and use of the facilities, we were asked to do projects around the camp. Teams were split into different sites and spent a full day doing work. My team was assigned to build a cross-tie retaining wall. The group who did it before us started it, and we had a couple pieces of the wall and some ground dug out. We spent the rest of the day digging more, leveling the ground, leveling the cross-tie beams, drilling huge holes, hammering (with sledge hammers), and building the walls. It was so satisfying to see a job so close to finished at the end of the day (the group after us finished it off), and to know we went well beyond their expectations felt awesome. My hands hurt, I was sweating more than I ever thought possible, I was covered in bruises, but I felt so good. We had just accomplished a huge task that helped out the camp, and found out that they would be filling the space with fig trees and blueberry trees. How awesome is that?!

The next day wasn't labor, it was team-building. Still a lot of work, but a different type. We did a ropes course at Ole' Miss. The low ropes stuff was mediocre, but the high ropes was awesome. I climbed a utility pole (it had small steps on it) to walk across a catwalk beam that was suspended in the air and didn't hold on to anything, and from there I walked across a rope that had ropes hanging over it to balance with. All in the air! It was pretty terrifying, but awesome. I also did this thing called the flying squirrel. You're harnessed in, and there is a team of people behind you who are harnessed to the rope too. They run as fast as they can away from you, and you get pulled into the air and feel like you're flying. It was the most fun I had that day. The next one was another utility pole to climb, but then you have to stand on top of it, and jump off to try to reach a trapeze. I made it up, but couldn't stand up. My left leg was bent, foot on top of the pole. My right leg was straight, on one of the peg steps. I was shaking. I did not think I could stand, because I had to put all of my weight on my left leg to straighten it out. Everyone was telling me I could do it and trying to cheer me on, but I needed to think for a second. I was walking myself through the process, and knew that I had to straighten my upper body before I could stand. As I started to straighten my spine and lift my chest/shoulders, muscle memory kicked in and I realized that I have stood on someone's hand, so I could stand on the top of the pole. I counted it out 1, 2 - 3, 4 - 5, 6, (bounce on 7), (stand on 8). Left lib, stand on both feet, and suddenly I just applied cheerleading to a high ropes course. It was awesome. We ended the day with a zipline into the sunset, which sounds just as cliche as it felt, and we all went back to camp tired and hungry, but feeling pretty good about ourselves. 

Day 3 was departing at 6am to Camp Gray. I woke up at 4:45, hadn't slept much at all in the past week, and was suuuper cranky (sorry, team). But I tried really hard and managed (for the most part) to keep myself together and focus on getting everything ready and departing on time. We got to camp gray, had a class, and then got started on our next round of physical labor (things aren't free, especially use of campgrounds, remember?) So we got all of our tools and got to work clearing a bunch of trees and brush and invasive species. IT. WAS. AWESOME. I have no idea why it was the highlight of my trip, but it felt SO GOOD. I didn't mind the spiders and walking into webs, and I didn't mind the gallons of sweat pouring from my body. I honestly loved it. I had really cool (I use that term loosely) yellow safety goggles and steel-toed boots. And I had SO. MUCH. FUN.

I was exhausted. I slept in a tent, without a mat under me, in a sleeping bag on the ground. And it was the best night of sleep I have had since coming to Mississippi. I slept a solid 9 hours, and didn't wake up to anything in the middle of the night. I woke up feeling like a whole new person, and I was a million kinds of happy. 

Camping was pretty cool. Cooking was a challenge and keeping food fresh was hard, and we couldn't keep a lot of food so I had to shop a lot, so that was annoying. But really, it wasn't all bad and I didn't really mind it overall. We had a lot of people to help with everything, our STLs did a lot of the ops and I had money to keep us fed, and we were luxury camping at Camp Lake Stevens. But I definitely have a new outlook on it, and a new appreciation for manual labor and those who do it on a regular basis. OH that reminds me. Other than that time I shoveled a driveway at 21, this was the first experience I've had doing physical/manual labor. We wore long pants, long sleeves, steel boots, and gloves in the Mississippi summer heat and humidity in the middle of the day. And I would definitely do it again. I don't know why I loved it so much, but I had a great time and I'm even more excited excited that I'm TL of a mixed team that includes logistics specialists. It's going to be a great year, and it keeps getting better every day.

International Day of Peace

International Day of Peace is a day to remind us to be mindful of the UN's efforts to increase peace and equality in the world, and their efforts to achieve their long-term goals. According to the resolution which created this day in 1981, it is “…to devote a specific time to concentrate the efforts of the United Nations and its Member States, as well as the whole of mankind, to promoting the ideals of peace and to giving positive evidence of their commitment to peace in all viable ways.”

I just want you to be aware of this day. I can also a time to remind yourself what peace means to you, and to try to do some act of good or kindness. It doesn't have to be on a large scale, it can be even increasing peace within yourself, by way of meditation, a hug with a loved one, or a smile at a stranger - there aren't limits because peace means something different to everyone. I don't want to argue whether world peace is an achievable goal, and I don't want to tell you what peace means, but I do ask that today you be mindful of others, and remember that everyone fights battles, and it doesn't matter what it is, it's still a struggle for them. You have your own trials and your own triumphs, and sometimes it only takes a smile or other friendly gesture to turn someone's day around. You might not be successful, but you can try.

I want to make a big difference in the world. I don't know what difference that is, so in the meantime my goal is to positively impact one person's life. I don't know who that person is, so I try to remember to treat everyone as if they are that one person. I'm not very good at it yet, because I still have days when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed or get frustrated at stupid things and impatient with the world around me. But as long as I continue to try, I'll continue to get better at it. I don't know exactly how I'm trying to do it, but I have started by trying to smile at people, or let the car behind me pass the 15p on the highway, or let the person who got to the Starbuck's line at the exact same time as me go first. I don't know what will make a difference, but I think starting small is the best idea.
Oh- and I almost forgot. It has to start with yourself first. I was given a journal by my mom a couple years ago with a story attached to it, called 100 days of gratitude. I followed through and for about 100 days, I found one thing every day that I was thankful for. Sometimes it was really deep, sometimes I felt like I was thankful for a million things and other days were tough and I was thankful that I woke up that morning. But I the things I remember the most were the things that other people did for me and the way other people made me feel.

Peace doesn't have to be international. It can start on a much smaller scale and a lot closer to home. Anyone can take small actions to promote kindness and remove negativity. In honor of International Day of Peace, I ask you to give it a try.

Reflection

Being vulnerable and displaying my emotions is something that I got very used to not doing, because I used to do it all the time and I used to cry a lot. I didn't like being seen as weak, so got used to keeping everything in and only letting emotions that display positive energy show on the surface. Since being here, I have let down some of that wall that I've built around my feelings, and some of it has been broken down by external forces. When I first got here, I was really good at maintaining that wall and not letting things show, and I've gotten progressively worse at hiding my feelings. This is positive because other people can see that I am actually human- not a robot- and I do have feelings. However, I don't like being vulnerable and I was really upset with myself for crying in front of my team today.

Today was a very difficult and emotional day. We began with a remembrance of September 11, 2001 in which we watched a video that played media coverage from the day. It was so heartbreaking to relive it, and I had actually seen all of this coverage before. When I was in 5th grade, my teacher heard the news and turned the TV on in the library. The 5th and 6th graders watched it, and I remember one person saying, "That tower is going to collapse in on itself. The steel is strong but when it gets hot, it is going to melt and just fall down." I didn't know how he knew so much about buildings because we were only 5th graders, but it made sense. I still looked at him in horror when we watched it happen on the TV.
We learned that day about World Trade Centers, and what they were. We were taught about the Pentagon. I had never heard of it before that day. We were taught was the word 'terrorist' meant, and I didn't understand why someone or a group of people would target someone or something else. But it made me want to learn more and lit a fire inside of me that got me to where I am today. The September 11, 2001 attacks are the driving force behind my desire and ambition to become a diplomat and work to increase and strengthen relationships between the United States and other countries, nations, and states. I don't know if I've ever told anyone why I got interested in the political world, but now you know.

Anyway, revisiting that at 8:00 this morning was difficult. That video was intense, and with my strong memory it just made me revisit the same feelings that I had 12 years ago. The second video we watched was inspiring, and motivating. It was how 9/11 got turned into a day of service, a day to do good and bring positivity, and spread good deeds throughout the nation. We talked about the things we are going to do this year to bring positivity to our teams and how we want to better society. It was motivating and heartwarming to hear everyone's goals.

My next big emotional wave was during diversity training. If you haven't heard of a privilege walk, I recommend that you turn to your favorite search engine and type it in. It was probably the most difficult exercise I have gone through. We did this during TLT, but it was so much harder during CTI. I really love this activity, but my biggest struggle today was seeing my team spread out, and space being created between each team member over factors that were completely out of our control. I wanted to bring everyone together and let them know that we are going to be a strong team no matter what, and I am here to support them through their struggles and their triumphs, but I couldn't. I just had to keep looking around at them. I felt an insane amount of guilt, because I ended up far more towards the more privileged side than I expected to. I wanted to change it, but I couldn't, and it made me really frustrated that I was separated from my peers. Of course, in the end, we got to sit as a team and talk about the activity, and I got to bring everyone together and have the positive conversations that I wanted, and remind everyone that we are all here. Even if it is for different reasons, we're here together and we will work together to achieve a common goal. And we did find the beauty in the activity, and even though there are both visible and invisible differences, we did find and will continue to find common ground.

Today made me reflect a lot upon my own life. I feel incredibly blessed and thankful. I know that my life was not without struggles and it was not without sacrifice, and my parents have probably made sacrifices that I can't even fathom, and I have had an incredible family that has supported and continues to support me. I am so appreciative of the things that make me who I am. We talked about that today too, what our identifiers are and what we think makes us who we are. I am so grateful for my education, and the house I grew up in, the relationships I've had with family and friends, associations I've had, sports I've played, everything I've been able to do and had access to. I just feel so overwhelmed and fortunate at the same time and I don't know how to put into words the amount of gratitude I feel towards my parents and grandparents, and other family, for being my providers, my supporters, and my encouragement.
But the things that I've been fortunate to have are also the reason why I am here. I started looking into a year of service because I wanted to do something bigger than myself and something that is not for myself and 100% for someone else. I've had many privileges in my life and I have had many things that others don't have, and I don't want to just expect that all the time. I want to realize and learn and understand the hardships that people go through, and after a disaster those can be heavily increased. I've never even experienced a disaster that has taken something away from me. I just want to give back to society and keep paying forward the things that have been handed to me. I want to work harder and I want to feel like I earn the things that I get.

Because this post really came from something deeper within me, I didn't edit it for errors or sentence structure. I want my thoughts and feelings to be portrayed and because I have been dealing with many emotions, I want to keep that atmosphere as real as possible. I know I am being vulnerable and I might not come off as the strongest of people, but I am okay with that. Despite the heavy emotions I went through today, I feel like it was a positive experience and I appreciate everything that happened today. I really enjoyed everything. Even if in the moment I was uncomfortable, I feel like today was a great experience for my team and we all learned from each other. I loved the conversations we shared and the self-reflection and looking deeper into myself part of it all. I am ready to move forward and use the things I learned today to strengthen my relationships within my team, and remember and appreciate the people who got me to where I am right now.

Time.

This past weekend I went to New Orleans, and on our way home we stopped at one of our fellow TL's houses for some home-cooked southern food and good conversation. This house had clocks. A grandmother clock. A mantel clock. A skeleton movement clock. They all made beautiful noises, and they all reminded me of my Dad and my home. But they also reminded me of time.

Time somehow not only manages to slip away from you while here at NCCC, but it also seems to consume you while you're also consuming it. You never have enough, and you're always completely absorbed in it. Time is a strange concept. That's all it is, a perception and a concept. It passes differently to each person and sometimes seems to be moving so slowly, or sometimes too quickly. It's standardized on a clock, but not in our heads. But it's also something people never stop thinking about. I know it never leaves my head. I find myself saying, "I have time." or, "I don't have time."I even say, "I need a minute." or ask, "Do you have a minute?" or, "How much time do I have?" "What time do you want this by?" and "What time should I be there?" come out of my mouth daily. I know I have x amount of minutes before my next scheduled activity or event, and I plan everything, practically down to the second. Perhaps I should try being present in the exact moment I am in, and stop thinking about how much time I have. Because really, all I have is time, and it's going to keep consuming me if I don't try to slow it down and make the most of each moment.

There's an update in the works on my past 25 days. It's been quite the ride, and I just want to let you know that I'm still here.

Frustration. Flexibility. FEMA.

I am FEMA Flexible. I am FEMA Flexible. I am FEMA Flexible. I am FEMA Flexible. I. AM. FEMA. FLEXIBLE. 

If I say it enough, it'll be true, right?

More like if I type it enough, it starts to look like a foreign word. Anyway, yesterday was our first interaction with FEMA. We went to Baton Rouge, LA to the FEMA JFO (Joint Field Office) for our equipment issuing. Each person received (or was supposed to receive) a Smartphone (AT&T Blackberry), a Laptop (Dell), and a little thing that connects us securely to Wi-Fi. We all waited in a room and went in two at a time and got our equipment. Then we were sent to another room to get everything activated, registered, and set up. After waiting for over an hour and a half, probably closer to two, and being back in forth on the phone with the helpdesk company and getting new passwords, someone finally listened to me that I couldn't log in to my computer. It turns out that it was a network issue where I was sitting, and nothing to do with the passwording that they told me was the problem. The only reason that this was frustrating was because it happened to someone who was sitting a couple places away from me and they moved him to a new location and got him going. As I was sitting there watching other people finish all of the processes, I wasn't even close to starting. My biggest fear at that point was that everyone was going to be waiting for me at the end, tired and hungry, and I wouldn't be able to leave yet so they'd be waiting on me. This ended up being mostly true. I don't feel like explaining all of the problems individually, especially since it will make me re-live the stresses of it all, but it shouldn't have taken 5 hours to complete these tasks. I actually still haven't finished, because I couldn't get my Wi-Fi connector set up with my computer and we had to leave. I'll sit down over the weekend and try again. It was extremely difficult to stay composed and calm, but I definitely shut down for a while and didn't want to talk to anyone. I'm not really proud of the fact that I let my frustration take over but I also didn't have anywhere to direct it. I feel like that might happen again and I need to handle it differently next time. However, when we go through and do this with our corps members, I am going to go back with the attitude that it is a different day and there is potential that they took the time to work out the kinks.

I would also like to mention that Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are our PT days. Since we left at 5:30am, we didn't do morning PT, so we were supposed to do it when we returned. We got back at 8pm. Hats off to those who played basketball in the sweltering gym, but I wasn't about to push myself any harder. Nicole guided me through an outstanding yoga session, which felt great on my body and my mind. I felt so much better and it was a perfect way to release all of the negative energy from the day. I hope to keep up with it a little bit, because it was incredibly healing and refreshing. 

Now after that, lets get positive. Today was supervisor training, which we will continue tomorrow. We had an amazing instructor and I loved everything he had to say and everything he taught us. It wasn't only good advice and information and tools for being a team leader, but they are things that can be used anywhere in life. If you have 20 minutes, watch this video here, I think that these lessons will stick with me. It is a Ted Talk video, which I already love and I hadn't seen this one before. I highly recommend that you check it out. We learned a lot about situational leadership and adapting our leadership styles. I'll do a full update after its all over but I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. We also have 6:30am Zumba for PT tomorrow, but I'm not as excited for that- I've never been really good at Zumba, but I'll put in a solid effort.  

I'm also getting super into the episode of Project Runway that's on right now (they're making outfits out of carnival prizes) so I'm going to leave you with this until next time :)

The Honeymoon Phase

Before we get too far into this week and start getting to REALLY know everyone, I would like to talk about what we are referring to as "The Honeymoon Phase" which basically sums up the fact that we are all excited and happy to be here and have 30+ potential new friends in front of us, and are all willing to play games and sports together and go everywhere together and be a big happy family. We all know this phase will come to an end, but we're also enjoying it while it lasts.

Our first week (2-3 days) was long training sessions and getting used to uniforms, and learning to navigate the kitchen with 20+ bodies in there at once. Our first weekend was exploring the city (bars and restaurants) and various outdoor activities. I've LOVED it. We went to town and there are these murals along the river canal that are gorgeous and show the historical progression of Vicksburg. They're fascinating. I also played my first softball game EVER, and even though I felt silly and nervous that everyone was going to judge me, everyone was at different skill levels and we all cheered each other on, and all competition was lighthearted. We also kept the music playing through the speakers, and it was a very positive experience. And no one kept score! We also have made excellent use of the pool here, which is new to me because even though I have one at home, I never use it and I'm not a huge fan of swimming. But after a game of softball or kickball (which we played on Sunday) in the hot humidity, it feels really nice to swim. I'm also enjoying the feeling that I am active and athletic, because moving around so much feels great and I feel like I'm treating my body really well. We eat well, and the TLs and STLs that do our grocery shopping make really healthy decisions but also keep in mind variety and everyone's dietary needs/preferences. They do a great job. I'm glad that over the weekend we all let our personalities out a little bit more, and they shyness is starting to wear off. I'm still not the best at being open and outgoing, but I'm not going to be and I think I'm doing perfectly fine right now.

I am starting to have a bunch of questions about leading a team and managing a team (they're two different things!) but I have to remind myself that training will cover them, so wait until we get to the lessons and ask at the end which questions I have left. I can't stress about them now, because it won't be useful for anyone. I also need to remember that I have led teams before  and I have plenty of time to better the skills I already have and everything will come together. I need to keep reminding myself that confidence is key, and we keep getting little pointers from various staff members that I will keep in mind because they seem like really sound pieces of advice.

In other news, today was our drivers education course and we had a morning of classroom instruction followed by our road tests. I felt really comfortable driving the 15 passenger van, even though at the beginning I was so nervous that I made myself feel nauseous. Once a couple people drove I was relaxed enough and took my turn, and did well. I was happy. Tomorrow we practice backing up and learning to help others back up, and park the vans and stuff. It might be a little more difficult but I don't feel that it is anything to stress over.

We went out to a Mexican restaurant for dinner tonight I'm looking forward to a relaxing evening and going to sleep early. Happy Honeymoon, folks!

I Made It!

It feels like my plane ride here was a week ago. It was yesterday. I arrived safely and happily, and was met by some wonderful members at the airport. After arriving on campus, in-processing was a lot of paperwork, running back and forth to my room (up a million flights of stairs) and waiting. After getting all of that done, I was able to eat lunch, unpack, and relax. I also got my NCCC uniform yesterday, which sums up to far too many pairs of cargo pants. I had a really nice welcome here and I have been 100% happy and so glad to meet everyone. Everyone so far is really nice and friendly, I love it.

Today was our first training day. Unfortunately, about two hours in, I got a massive migraine and couldn't leave the room to go upstairs and take anything for it, so it had a nice long time to settle in and cause serious pain. We finally got a quick break and I got to take some meds for it, but I was too far into it. So for the next four hours after that, I was fighting to stay focused and conscious. It was a battle, but I won. I'll have to read through my notes and the training materials they gave us again, but I also know the important stuff will be repeated and the uniform stuff we went over is in our handbook. I just have a little homework to do.

We went to a pizza social at the Mississippi River Museum, and the hosts were so nice and really sweet. Everyone was so welcoming. The museum itself was really cool, too. They had a bunch of interactive exhibits which taught me a lot more about rivers and were really cool to see/use. I think I'll go back at least once more, I like museums.

Oh, we also live on the 4th floor, which feels like 6 because the old style building has high ceilings and LOTS of stairs. It's been a day and a half and my thighs/legs are feeling that workout. Not that I'm complaining, I'll be in great shape from climbing those stairs a couple dozen times per day, but wow I definitely feel that workout.

Speaking of workout, tonight we have free time, but I'll be going to bed early. We have our baseline PT test at 6:30am, which means be downstairs at 6:00 and depart in the vans at 6:15. Yuck! Wish me luck!

And sorry for the lack of blogging. There's no wi-fi, so I am in the computer lab- which I really only have time for at the end of the day, and yesterday's excitement was better than sitting by myself writing a blog post :)

It's a waiting game

There's a lot racing through my mind while I wait for my travel information to arrive (hopefully within the next week) but there's still not a whole lot I can do right now. It's too early to pack, but it seems too close to sit around and wait some more. On Tuesday, we had a conference call with the campus staff and all of the Team Leaders that I'll be working with when I get to Vicksburg. They call us, the TL staff, Team Green (because we wear green shirts). Our conference call addressed mostly things I had read about already, but still didn't answer what to pack. I don't know if I'm actually nervous about that or if I am just worried I'll want something that I leave behind. Luckily I had a great conversation with a fellow TL who also served last year, so she had a lot of advice and relaxed me about the packing process. Maybe I just hate packing :o)
I've also started making a list of things I need to buy before I leave. It's a bunch of random odds and ends that I wouldn't necessarily notice I was missing until I realized I needed it, like a black or grey long-sleeved shirt for layering under my uniform if I get cold. I really want to start packing, but I feel like I'll have to wear most of my clothes before I go, and having them in a suitcase wouldn't be very helpful. I think I'm just getting anxious and I'm definitely ready for July 24 to arrive.

If you'd like to learn a little more about FEMA, check out their website here.
If you're interested in learning about national service with AmeriCorps, visit this page. (this will bring you to the FEMA Corps section of the site, but you can navigate to other AmeriCorps programs from here).

It's been a while!

Well, it's been quite a long time since I've updated but that's also because it's been quite a long time since I've had any updates from NCCC. I got my welcome packet and all of my forms sent in and cleared, so it's a waiting game. But the news I got today is that I'll be waiting just a little bit longer. Our arrival date got pushed from the 17th to the 24th, so I have an extra week. As much as I am anxious to get to Vicksburg, I am also pleased that I'll have an extra week to pack, and try to get all of my things together. I'm happy that I won't be rushed, and I also won't have to be gone for my mom's birthday. It's been a crazy time at home, I've had relatives in my house since I came home from college on my graduation day (May 11) so I haven't really taken the time to get the things I need to bring with me and pack up all of my stuff for safekeeping here. I'm glad I'll be able to do that without stressing over it. I'm also hoping to go visit a few friends in Boston before I go and I'm glad to have time for that, too. I don't have much else to update, but it's game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals so I'm cutting this off :) GO BRUINS!

I need some assistance.

Dad? DAD?! DAAADDDD!!!??? Oh there you are. You're reading this, right? Okay. Don't stop reading this. This is important. I need your help.

Camping guys, what about you? Are you all here?

Anyone with survival skills? Experience with this stuff? I need all of you, too. Gather 'round... A little closer, don't be shy.

Ready? Okay. (That's the cheerleader in me, sorry guys.)

Maybe it's a little early to be thinking about packing. Or maybe it isn't. But I've never done this before. What is "this" you ask? Oh nothing too much, I just have to put ELEVEN MONTHS OF THINGS I NEED INTO A DUFFEL BAG AND A BACKPACK! WITH EXTRA SPACE.

I am going to need all of your camping advice I can get. I currently have a giant pink plaid rolling suitcase and a gray and purple backpack that is falling apart. Those don't exactly scream "We're ready for disaster relief!"

First, I need you to read a couple of posts about packing from other FEMA Corps members can get yourselves up to speed. 
Start Here.
Nick also says:
Travel/baggage

• Exclude excess
• Cargo space in the 15-passenger (a.k.a., “15p”, “govie”) vans is extremely limited, especially on teams with 10-12 members. Red bags and other NCCC equipment have priority in the trunk, and having 10+ red bags will fill the trunk quickly even though the last row of seating is usually removed. You will have very limited space under each seat for sleeping bags and boots. If you have a backpack, it will have to sit on your lap or be placed down by your feet
• Shoes, you don’t need to bring 7+ pairs. At most, you should bring a pair of casual shoes, PT shoes, and sandals. These, along with your steel-toe work boots that you will receive, are all that you really need. Protip: when traveling to/from a spike, wear your boots and pack your shoes to save space in the van. Also, pack your socks inside your shoes to save space in your red bag
• I would recommend purchasing a collapsible 6-shelf hanging closet organizer for storing clothes while on campus or spikes. This will save you so much trouble, and it will keep your room better organized and less messy
• It is sometimes better to be in a silent van than listen to the same songs playing on the radio every single day. Invest in an iPod with music that everyone likes
• Be good drivers, please, and if you are “A-Driving,” pay attention to and communicate with the driver. Hand signals, study them, learn them

Then read this:
Nick's Packing List

And then this, a post about backing by a GIRL. Because I am one, and I like her thoughts.
Carolanne's Packing List

But did you guys see all that stuff about gear? And survival supplies? Carabiners? Headlamps? Nick's intense backpack? A good sleeping bag? What kind of water bottle can I CLIP to myself? This is a whole new world for me (cue: Aladdin soundtrack) and I am definitely going to need some help preparing.

Of course this is stuff I have PLENTY of time to get in order, but that's why I want to start now. What are the things you will think I will need the MOST and the things I will need the LEAST? Let's save the clothing subject for a different day- I'm talking gear or tools and such. How do I pack "lightly" but also have everything I need to get me through the time that I'm there? I have to be able to carry what I bring! When I go on "spikes" I won't have to bring everything with me, and luckily as a TL I don't have to store it all away in bins, but I still can't bring everything I own! I have a feeling I'm going to have to practice this a few times before I go...

Living.

A few of you are curious about my future living situation(s). So am I.

In FEMA Corps and true NCCC fashion, we will move around a lot. We will stay wherever we can. My first two months will be on campus in Vicksburg, and I'll have a room and a roommate, a fellow TL like me. From what I have gathered from Nick's Blog and Andy's Blog We will stay on the same floor as the other TLs and the CMs will be in other buildings. We'll do rounds and check on them like RAs at my college do. It will be dorm-ish style living, with a kitchen that we cook in, likely as a team. When we leave and we go on our "spikes" - the assignments we have at other locations - we can stay anywhere. I know we train with FEMA and stay in some government campus thing there (yes, that is a technical term). When some of the FEMA Corps teams went to help with Sandy Relief, space was so limited that they stayed ON A FREAKING BOAT. Yeah, you read that right. They LIVED on a BOAT. Read more about that by Andy here. They stay in a lot of extended stay motels, so I won't be living the glamourous life but I'll be living and helping people who might have a hell of a lot less than I do, so I'm not going to be too upset about it.

Now about food. Our budget will allow us to shop as a team at our local Wal-Mart, mostly for Wal-Mart brand items. I hear they eat a lot of pasta and have the same types of meals. If you know me well, you know how I feel about food. I love to cook, but I don't eat meat or dairy and I am usually pretty picky about what I fuel my body with. However, there is this great natural instinct that animals are equipped with called SURVIVAL. I really hope I can still avoid meat, and I really don't want dairy (or the migraine that comes with it) but I have a feeling that other than those two requirements, for the next year of my life I might just put my requirements aside in the name of staying alive. Nutrition is important, healthy eating and clean eating are also important, but I might need to be more flexible. I am going to see how well I can maintain a vegetarian/dairy-free diet (something tells me I might need to eat eggs) with AmeriCorps, but now that I am also soy-free my protein sources are limited and I may need to make adjustments. Dairy and soy are closer to allergies while meat is a choice based on my beliefs. I will have to seriously consider my values, but I'll play it by ear. I won't be eating like a queen and I won't be dining at any 5-star restaurants with expensive bottles of Spanish wine anytime soon, but I'll be eating regular meals. Again, that's still a lot more than some people have access to, so I better shut up and eat it with a smile.

Questions Answered and Acronyms Decoded

Over the next couple posts, I am going to answer the questions I most often receive from my family and my friends. Many of these have been answered by other sources, where I have turned for my own questions. As always, if you have additional questions, send them my way- even if I can't answer them yet, I will over the next couple of months. I have about 10 weeks until I head to Vicksburg!

I'll start with the big question: What is AmeriCorps/NCCC/FEMA Corps

Wikipedia can help me explain this:

"AmeriCorps is a program of the U.S. federal government engaging adults in intensive community servicework with the goal of "helping others and meeting critical needs in the community."^[1] Members commit to full- or part-time positions offered by a network of nonprofit community organizations and public agencies, to fulfill assignments in the fields of education, public safety, health care, and environmental protection. The program is often compared to the Peace Corps as its domestic counterpart.^[2][3]

AmeriCorps is an initiative of the Corporation for National and Community Service (CNCS), which also oversees the Senior Corps and Learn and Serve America.^[4] It was created under President Bill Clinton by the National and Community Service Trust Act of 1993,^[5] incorporating VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America) and the National Civilian Community Corps (NCCC).^[6] A third division, AmeriCorps State and National, provides grants to hundreds of local community organizations throughout the U.S.^[7]"

^{And this:}

^"The FEMA Corps who range in age from 18–24 years old, is a cadre dedicated to disaster response and recovery. It is a new partnership between AmeriCorps' Corporation for National and Community Service and FEMA.^[24]

^{The Corps, described as a "dedicated, trained, and reliable disaster workforce" works full-time for ten months on federal disaster response and recovery efforts. The first 231 members if the FEMA Corps class graduated on August 13, 2012.[25]"}

I only have a few ideas of what I will be doing, but I am honestly not too concerned. I am excited for the opportunity and I know that every day it wil be worth it- whether it is because of my team of CMs, fellow TLs or STLs, ULs, FEMA employees, or the citizens we help. I also know already that acronyms are ALWAYS used, so here's what I know:

NCCC: National Civilian Community Corps
FEMA: Federal Emergency Management Agency
UL: Unit Leader
TL: Team Leader
STL: Support Team Leader
CM: Corps Member

I'm sure others will be added as time goes on!

I also frequently get asked why I want to serve. Many people at college ask me if I have considered graduate degree programs for my masters or if I want to go to law school, or what I want to "do." I have spent nearly my entire life in school. I started preschool at age 3 (1 month before my 4th birthday) and went for two years, and I haven't taken a year off since. I'll be 23 in October. That's a hell of a lot of school. And yes, much of it I consider exactly that- Hell. I have not enjoyed much of my school years. Sitting in a classroom and answering to teachers who think they're the center of my universe and their material is the only thing that matters and that I should constantly strive for the best grades so I can get into the best schools that follow whatever institution I'm in is NOT my idea of enjoying life. I am so much more than a student, and I don't want to define myself as a student. I want something new, meaningful to myself and others, and productive for society. In order to expand my horizons, I need to leave the world of education. There is so much more to learn about life and the world, and I want to start with the country I live in. I haven't seen a whole lot of it, and I haven't experienced the things that communities who need FEMA assistance have had to face. I see so many opportunities to expand my mind and my perceptions of life, and help others. I will be helping FEMA, communities, individuals, and my Corps Members. Together, we will achieve wonderful things and bring positivity to each other. And as for grad school, who knows. Maybe, but I don't know if I want it yet. I feel like spending too much of my life in school is going to bring me down and I want experiences that I can't put a price on more than I want another $100,000 degree. If the path I want for myself after AmeriCorps requires more education, I'll probably go, but right now I don't envision it. I want to serve for more than one year with AmeriCorps, and I want to work doing something that will be meaningful to others.  The issues that I am passionate about are hunger, homelessness, and the environment. I don't know how much of those three I will be able to help through FEMA Corps, but hopefully when I am finished, I will find a career path that can end the first two and strengthen the latter. For now, I am going to spend my time focused on AmeriCorps/FEMA Corps and not what comes next. I am going to live in the "now" and be present in my life, and not focus on planning my next 5 years. The first thing I had to do when I came to college was set up my 4-year plan, and I never want to have to do that again. I have goals, but I'm going to get there at my own pace. 

Here I am!

I wasn't going to start this blog yet, but I want to be able to start pooling together resources for my future CorpsMembers and my friends and family, and give everyone a little info about my upcoming AmeriCorps service. So let's do this efficiently:

Name: Alexandra Murray (Allie)

Age: 22

Hometown: Tuftonboro, NH

Education: Emmanuel College, Boston, MA

Position: NCCC-FEMA Corps Team Leader

Location: Southern Campus (Vicksburg, MS)

Depature Date: July 17, 2013

Here I am!

Please please please send in your questions! I will probably be answering them in future posts but if there is anything you'd like to know, send me a note. The beginning of this is going to be slow and I don't have many answers yet, but I will do my best or save them until I can answer them for you. Remember, patience is a virtue.

I would also like to add a Disclaimer:

This is not an official AmeriCorps or FEMA blog; it is a personal blog written and edited by me, Alexandra Murray. I am solely responsible for all content published here. The views and opinions expressed on this blog represent my own and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of AmeriCorps, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) or any of their parent government agencies or associated sponsors, organizations, or partners.