Allie, A Mile High

No, that't not a reference to anything illegal or indecent. It's a reference to the fact that I'm in the most beautiful place, surrounded by the most beautiful people, and I feel like I'm on the top of the world. 

Entering: Colorado.

It's been a while since I last blogged. In fact, last time I blogged, my plan was to head to Bothell, Washington! Things have definitely changed. Let's rewind about 18 days and I'll give you the highlights reel.

Tuesday 10/8: Plan: Head to Washington! Actual happening: Government shutdown puts all teams on hold. We head to Camp Gray instead for chainsaw training, trail clearing, and some good old outdoor fun.

Camp Gray: Chainsaws, axes, and machetes. Sleep in tents, have campfires, watch the meteor shower on cots with your best friend, chat about life. It doesn't get much better than this. It was a perfect two days.

Return from Camp Gray: Thursday morning 10/10/2013: Happy Birthday to me! Staff meeting 8:30am. Deployment update: We can't head to our original destinations, but teams are allowed to be deployed to disaster zones. A few teams headed to Missouri and Texas, 6 teams headed to Denver, CO! I'm one of the 6 headed to Denver! Depart by 8am Friday morning. Spend birthday making clearance packet, getting team packed/ready, forget to pack self (did that at 1am...oops), and don't have time to celebrate. Team made me a homemade cake (not from a box!) and had lots of hugs. Yay!

Friday 10/11: Depart from campus at 8:30am (not too far from our goal) and head to Texas. There's nothing in North Texas except for really awesome rest stops. Keep it up, TX. 

Saturday 10/12: Enter CO. HOLY GORGEOUS. This place is beautiful. Can I stay? Oh right, I have two months of this. Soak it all in and never let a day go by where you don't appreciate the mountains. (I've kept up with that. It still blows my mind every day. More on that later.)

Sunday/Monday: Explore Denver! We had a nice hotel Sunday night and we have all day to do what we want. Hurray! We're here! I'm sick of the van, and driving! Move in to our extended stay hotel motel on Monday. The conditions are... adequate. I have one working stove burner (out of two), a mini refrigerator that freezes everything (even on the lowest temperature setting), no toaster, and no oven. But it's more than some people have so we'll make it work! It's AmeriCorps, and we can chalk this one up to Life Experience.

Start at JFO on Tuesday 10/15. Work is slow but bearable, realize quickly there isn't time for much else, they want us to work weekends? What about ISPs and NCCC requirements? Talk to POCs, negotiate days off for sanity/mental health reasons and ISP/SLI opportunities.
*ISP = Independent Service Project
*SLI = Service Learning Initiative

That's where I'm at now! We've been working, and it gets better the longer we're there. I'm still working out some things for work in the office, but it's going well. We did an AWESOME ISP yesterday for Make A Difference Day, helping tear down damaged sheds and porches from the floods so the homeowners can rebuild. Their houses are actually total losses as well, which was devastating to see, but they are in high spirits and really just want their neighborhood to be back together again. To see them all working together and helping each other out with their homes was really uplifting. They have lost almost everything, and rebuilding isn't easy, but they don't let it show. They have such a drive to keep moving forward. I helped a woman move and re-plant her marigolds. She said she didn't care about everything else, but the flowers brought beauty to the neighborhood and she wanted something nice to look at, and for others to see. It was such a heavy moment for me to think about that and I really admire her strength.

I've also had awesome interactions with the Denver campus Team Leaders. We work with many of them in the JFO, and one invited another TL and me to share his office with him. It was really generous of him, and I am happy to have a place to settle every day. I've made it over to the Denver campus a couple of times, and their staff has been really supportive of my team and me. I have had positive interactions with their traditional corps TLs, and I'm glad we went out with some of the FEMA Corps TLs from Denver and got to know them. I've had an awesome two weeks and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Oh, and the mountains.
Let me tell you why I love Denver.

My favorite things are mountains, fall, cities, sunshine, snow that doesn't last too long, friendly people, and easy access/walking distance to stores/restaurants/things to do. I have all of that here! I drive to work every day and admire the view. My team now just rolls their eyes at me because I can't stop talking about it. Sometimes, the mountains look like a perfectly painted scenery in the background, like a backdrop to a movie or something. Or even like in the Truman Show and someone placed it there to look perfect, change with the seasons/time of day, and make me believe it's real. Sometimes they look like a watercolor painting, not too much detail but enough color and shape to catch the eye. They are so many kinds of beautiful. And then, I can drive right to Denver. In fact, we're only about 4 miles away, so if I felt ambitious (and like freezing my rear end off), I could walk there. I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to be here, even if it's temporary. If I love it this much, I could even make it permanent if I want to. I'm at a point in my life where the possibilities are endless, and I love it.

I've also attended Pure Barre classes again (something I did in Boston for a while) and I can join the really nice YMCA for $8/month (I'll probably sign up today). There's absolutely nothing that I DON'T like about this place so far.

Off we go!

CTI came to a close about a week and a half ago, and we had our induction ceremony. It was an awesome day for FEMA Corps Class 20, and we had great speakers and really excellent cake. Everyone was ready for FEMA Academy, which was this past week at campus. FEMA Instructors came from all over to teach our corps about specialty positions and make sure they are all certified in their roles. Aside from a few technical glitches, the week went smoothly for the corps. Us TLs were supporting the instructors and preparing to head out on round 1.

That reminds me, it is now round 1. We are all preparing to head out to our first projects, and we've had quite a busy week with project assignments,  preparing clearance packets, and the million other things that we need to do in order to depart. My team is very excited for our trip, and really excited for our assignment. Round 1 lasts until December 22nd-ish (we don't actually know the date, we just guess), and we will return to Vicksburg and then head to our families for Christmas. Well, that is, if a disaster doesn't strike and we end up working through Christmas and don't have a break for the holidays. Anything can happen, disasters are unpredictable and it has happened before. 

So I've kept you in suspense long enough. My team is made up of public assistance specialists, hazard mitigation specialists, and logistics specialists. We have been assigned to FEMA's region 10 office in Bothell, WA to work on mitigation and public assistance projects in the pacific northwest. There are also chances of of working with tribal liasons and some fire planning projects. We are SO EXCITED for this opportunity, and we are really excited to be near Seattle for the next couple of months. Personally, I am also excited to be near my sister! She lives a little south of Bothell, but I should definitely be able to see her some weekends. And my dad! My dad is visiting her at the end of October with my grandmother, so I'll be able to see some family. I am really excited to see everyone. She also invited us over for Thanksgiving, which is super awesome of her and I realized today that I'll be able to witness the first birthday/first cake celebration for one of my nephews :) How awesome is that?!

My biggest challenge right now is planning my travel route. Crazy weather right now in the Dakotas, so the north-then-west route seems like a bad idea (remember, we are in a 15-passenger van!) and then with everything that happened in Colorado, Google Maps says that some roads might be missing. AWESOME. Also, taking a directly east-to-west route across the rockies from Denver to Salt Lake City in a 15p seems like a bad idea (the snow could be bad, and the roads might not be the best). So we could go South, and take routes through the desert in New Mexico and Nevada, or we could go through Arizona and up through California. No matter which route we take its 4-5 days, we are only allowed to drive a max of 10 hours per day and no more than a 12 hour total travel day. Oh, and we can't exceed 65mph in a government vehicle. This could take forever... Any road trip hints for 10 people traveling in an enclosed space together for 100 hours?

The other challenge is that I have spent 11 weeks here. I have made many new friends and I love all of Team Green and I really don't want to leave anyone. Many teams are being deployed to areas where there are also other teams, but I am the only one from here that is going to Washington. Actually, everyone else is in DC, Texas, Missouri, North Carolina, Maryland, Virginia, Chicago, Alabama, Louisiana, and Georgia. I'm the furthest away, without other teams nearby. It's exciting, and I know Gulf 2 will have many opportunities to bond and hang out together, but I know I'm going to miss my Team Green friends. I really love being surrounded by these people every day and knowing that we'll be far apart is a bit sad. We just lost 3 of us to Baltimore's campus, but they'll also be near some of our teams. I know I'll always have all of Team Green for support, and I'll always be there to support everyone on Team Green, but I'll still be 2000-3000 miles away from everyone. I'm trying to remain positive and look at the exciting things about this journey, because I know there will be plenty.

Right now, all teams are scheduled to depart on Tuesday, so the rest of today and all of tomorrow will be spent prepping for departure. Bon Voyage, FEMA Corps Class 20! Best of luck to all of our teams, and I'll send as many pictures from G2's road trip as possible. 

Camp. Work. Play.

The photo above is me, shoveling a driveway (obviously). It has significance because it was the first time I had shoveled a driveway. I was 21 years old. It was the first time I had done any "work" outdoors. I'm sure I've helped move things here and there but I haven't really been very productive in the yard throughout my life.

This photo is from the only time I actually REMEMBER camping. I went when I was 17 with my friend Paige and her family. We slept in her car (Chevy Blazer) and I don't remember what we ate or how - but someone probably cooked it for us and served it to us. We didn't do much work. In fact, THIS is how I felt about camping, before this past week happened.

This past week changed my life. I know, it sounds dramatic. But it really did. We left last Sunday for Camp Lake Stevens in Oxford, MS, 4 hours north of Vicksburg. We stayed in fully air conditioned cabins with clean, functioning bathrooms - for free. But what we all know in life is that nothing is free. In exchange for our stay and use of the facilities, we were asked to do projects around the camp. Teams were split into different sites and spent a full day doing work. My team was assigned to build a cross-tie retaining wall. The group who did it before us started it, and we had a couple pieces of the wall and some ground dug out. We spent the rest of the day digging more, leveling the ground, leveling the cross-tie beams, drilling huge holes, hammering (with sledge hammers), and building the walls. It was so satisfying to see a job so close to finished at the end of the day (the group after us finished it off), and to know we went well beyond their expectations felt awesome. My hands hurt, I was sweating more than I ever thought possible, I was covered in bruises, but I felt so good. We had just accomplished a huge task that helped out the camp, and found out that they would be filling the space with fig trees and blueberry trees. How awesome is that?!

The next day wasn't labor, it was team-building. Still a lot of work, but a different type. We did a ropes course at Ole' Miss. The low ropes stuff was mediocre, but the high ropes was awesome. I climbed a utility pole (it had small steps on it) to walk across a catwalk beam that was suspended in the air and didn't hold on to anything, and from there I walked across a rope that had ropes hanging over it to balance with. All in the air! It was pretty terrifying, but awesome. I also did this thing called the flying squirrel. You're harnessed in, and there is a team of people behind you who are harnessed to the rope too. They run as fast as they can away from you, and you get pulled into the air and feel like you're flying. It was the most fun I had that day. The next one was another utility pole to climb, but then you have to stand on top of it, and jump off to try to reach a trapeze. I made it up, but couldn't stand up. My left leg was bent, foot on top of the pole. My right leg was straight, on one of the peg steps. I was shaking. I did not think I could stand, because I had to put all of my weight on my left leg to straighten it out. Everyone was telling me I could do it and trying to cheer me on, but I needed to think for a second. I was walking myself through the process, and knew that I had to straighten my upper body before I could stand. As I started to straighten my spine and lift my chest/shoulders, muscle memory kicked in and I realized that I have stood on someone's hand, so I could stand on the top of the pole. I counted it out 1, 2 - 3, 4 - 5, 6, (bounce on 7), (stand on 8). Left lib, stand on both feet, and suddenly I just applied cheerleading to a high ropes course. It was awesome. We ended the day with a zipline into the sunset, which sounds just as cliche as it felt, and we all went back to camp tired and hungry, but feeling pretty good about ourselves. 

Day 3 was departing at 6am to Camp Gray. I woke up at 4:45, hadn't slept much at all in the past week, and was suuuper cranky (sorry, team). But I tried really hard and managed (for the most part) to keep myself together and focus on getting everything ready and departing on time. We got to camp gray, had a class, and then got started on our next round of physical labor (things aren't free, especially use of campgrounds, remember?) So we got all of our tools and got to work clearing a bunch of trees and brush and invasive species. IT. WAS. AWESOME. I have no idea why it was the highlight of my trip, but it felt SO GOOD. I didn't mind the spiders and walking into webs, and I didn't mind the gallons of sweat pouring from my body. I honestly loved it. I had really cool (I use that term loosely) yellow safety goggles and steel-toed boots. And I had SO. MUCH. FUN.

I was exhausted. I slept in a tent, without a mat under me, in a sleeping bag on the ground. And it was the best night of sleep I have had since coming to Mississippi. I slept a solid 9 hours, and didn't wake up to anything in the middle of the night. I woke up feeling like a whole new person, and I was a million kinds of happy. 

Camping was pretty cool. Cooking was a challenge and keeping food fresh was hard, and we couldn't keep a lot of food so I had to shop a lot, so that was annoying. But really, it wasn't all bad and I didn't really mind it overall. We had a lot of people to help with everything, our STLs did a lot of the ops and I had money to keep us fed, and we were luxury camping at Camp Lake Stevens. But I definitely have a new outlook on it, and a new appreciation for manual labor and those who do it on a regular basis. OH that reminds me. Other than that time I shoveled a driveway at 21, this was the first experience I've had doing physical/manual labor. We wore long pants, long sleeves, steel boots, and gloves in the Mississippi summer heat and humidity in the middle of the day. And I would definitely do it again. I don't know why I loved it so much, but I had a great time and I'm even more excited excited that I'm TL of a mixed team that includes logistics specialists. It's going to be a great year, and it keeps getting better every day.

International Day of Peace

International Day of Peace is a day to remind us to be mindful of the UN's efforts to increase peace and equality in the world, and their efforts to achieve their long-term goals. According to the resolution which created this day in 1981, it is “…to devote a specific time to concentrate the efforts of the United Nations and its Member States, as well as the whole of mankind, to promoting the ideals of peace and to giving positive evidence of their commitment to peace in all viable ways.”

I just want you to be aware of this day. I can also a time to remind yourself what peace means to you, and to try to do some act of good or kindness. It doesn't have to be on a large scale, it can be even increasing peace within yourself, by way of meditation, a hug with a loved one, or a smile at a stranger - there aren't limits because peace means something different to everyone. I don't want to argue whether world peace is an achievable goal, and I don't want to tell you what peace means, but I do ask that today you be mindful of others, and remember that everyone fights battles, and it doesn't matter what it is, it's still a struggle for them. You have your own trials and your own triumphs, and sometimes it only takes a smile or other friendly gesture to turn someone's day around. You might not be successful, but you can try.

I want to make a big difference in the world. I don't know what difference that is, so in the meantime my goal is to positively impact one person's life. I don't know who that person is, so I try to remember to treat everyone as if they are that one person. I'm not very good at it yet, because I still have days when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed or get frustrated at stupid things and impatient with the world around me. But as long as I continue to try, I'll continue to get better at it. I don't know exactly how I'm trying to do it, but I have started by trying to smile at people, or let the car behind me pass the 15p on the highway, or let the person who got to the Starbuck's line at the exact same time as me go first. I don't know what will make a difference, but I think starting small is the best idea.
Oh- and I almost forgot. It has to start with yourself first. I was given a journal by my mom a couple years ago with a story attached to it, called 100 days of gratitude. I followed through and for about 100 days, I found one thing every day that I was thankful for. Sometimes it was really deep, sometimes I felt like I was thankful for a million things and other days were tough and I was thankful that I woke up that morning. But I the things I remember the most were the things that other people did for me and the way other people made me feel.

Peace doesn't have to be international. It can start on a much smaller scale and a lot closer to home. Anyone can take small actions to promote kindness and remove negativity. In honor of International Day of Peace, I ask you to give it a try.

Reflection

Being vulnerable and displaying my emotions is something that I got very used to not doing, because I used to do it all the time and I used to cry a lot. I didn't like being seen as weak, so got used to keeping everything in and only letting emotions that display positive energy show on the surface. Since being here, I have let down some of that wall that I've built around my feelings, and some of it has been broken down by external forces. When I first got here, I was really good at maintaining that wall and not letting things show, and I've gotten progressively worse at hiding my feelings. This is positive because other people can see that I am actually human- not a robot- and I do have feelings. However, I don't like being vulnerable and I was really upset with myself for crying in front of my team today.

Today was a very difficult and emotional day. We began with a remembrance of September 11, 2001 in which we watched a video that played media coverage from the day. It was so heartbreaking to relive it, and I had actually seen all of this coverage before. When I was in 5th grade, my teacher heard the news and turned the TV on in the library. The 5th and 6th graders watched it, and I remember one person saying, "That tower is going to collapse in on itself. The steel is strong but when it gets hot, it is going to melt and just fall down." I didn't know how he knew so much about buildings because we were only 5th graders, but it made sense. I still looked at him in horror when we watched it happen on the TV.
We learned that day about World Trade Centers, and what they were. We were taught about the Pentagon. I had never heard of it before that day. We were taught was the word 'terrorist' meant, and I didn't understand why someone or a group of people would target someone or something else. But it made me want to learn more and lit a fire inside of me that got me to where I am today. The September 11, 2001 attacks are the driving force behind my desire and ambition to become a diplomat and work to increase and strengthen relationships between the United States and other countries, nations, and states. I don't know if I've ever told anyone why I got interested in the political world, but now you know.

Anyway, revisiting that at 8:00 this morning was difficult. That video was intense, and with my strong memory it just made me revisit the same feelings that I had 12 years ago. The second video we watched was inspiring, and motivating. It was how 9/11 got turned into a day of service, a day to do good and bring positivity, and spread good deeds throughout the nation. We talked about the things we are going to do this year to bring positivity to our teams and how we want to better society. It was motivating and heartwarming to hear everyone's goals.

My next big emotional wave was during diversity training. If you haven't heard of a privilege walk, I recommend that you turn to your favorite search engine and type it in. It was probably the most difficult exercise I have gone through. We did this during TLT, but it was so much harder during CTI. I really love this activity, but my biggest struggle today was seeing my team spread out, and space being created between each team member over factors that were completely out of our control. I wanted to bring everyone together and let them know that we are going to be a strong team no matter what, and I am here to support them through their struggles and their triumphs, but I couldn't. I just had to keep looking around at them. I felt an insane amount of guilt, because I ended up far more towards the more privileged side than I expected to. I wanted to change it, but I couldn't, and it made me really frustrated that I was separated from my peers. Of course, in the end, we got to sit as a team and talk about the activity, and I got to bring everyone together and have the positive conversations that I wanted, and remind everyone that we are all here. Even if it is for different reasons, we're here together and we will work together to achieve a common goal. And we did find the beauty in the activity, and even though there are both visible and invisible differences, we did find and will continue to find common ground.

Today made me reflect a lot upon my own life. I feel incredibly blessed and thankful. I know that my life was not without struggles and it was not without sacrifice, and my parents have probably made sacrifices that I can't even fathom, and I have had an incredible family that has supported and continues to support me. I am so appreciative of the things that make me who I am. We talked about that today too, what our identifiers are and what we think makes us who we are. I am so grateful for my education, and the house I grew up in, the relationships I've had with family and friends, associations I've had, sports I've played, everything I've been able to do and had access to. I just feel so overwhelmed and fortunate at the same time and I don't know how to put into words the amount of gratitude I feel towards my parents and grandparents, and other family, for being my providers, my supporters, and my encouragement.
But the things that I've been fortunate to have are also the reason why I am here. I started looking into a year of service because I wanted to do something bigger than myself and something that is not for myself and 100% for someone else. I've had many privileges in my life and I have had many things that others don't have, and I don't want to just expect that all the time. I want to realize and learn and understand the hardships that people go through, and after a disaster those can be heavily increased. I've never even experienced a disaster that has taken something away from me. I just want to give back to society and keep paying forward the things that have been handed to me. I want to work harder and I want to feel like I earn the things that I get.

Because this post really came from something deeper within me, I didn't edit it for errors or sentence structure. I want my thoughts and feelings to be portrayed and because I have been dealing with many emotions, I want to keep that atmosphere as real as possible. I know I am being vulnerable and I might not come off as the strongest of people, but I am okay with that. Despite the heavy emotions I went through today, I feel like it was a positive experience and I appreciate everything that happened today. I really enjoyed everything. Even if in the moment I was uncomfortable, I feel like today was a great experience for my team and we all learned from each other. I loved the conversations we shared and the self-reflection and looking deeper into myself part of it all. I am ready to move forward and use the things I learned today to strengthen my relationships within my team, and remember and appreciate the people who got me to where I am right now.

Time.

This past weekend I went to New Orleans, and on our way home we stopped at one of our fellow TL's houses for some home-cooked southern food and good conversation. This house had clocks. A grandmother clock. A mantel clock. A skeleton movement clock. They all made beautiful noises, and they all reminded me of my Dad and my home. But they also reminded me of time.

Time somehow not only manages to slip away from you while here at NCCC, but it also seems to consume you while you're also consuming it. You never have enough, and you're always completely absorbed in it. Time is a strange concept. That's all it is, a perception and a concept. It passes differently to each person and sometimes seems to be moving so slowly, or sometimes too quickly. It's standardized on a clock, but not in our heads. But it's also something people never stop thinking about. I know it never leaves my head. I find myself saying, "I have time." or, "I don't have time."I even say, "I need a minute." or ask, "Do you have a minute?" or, "How much time do I have?" "What time do you want this by?" and "What time should I be there?" come out of my mouth daily. I know I have x amount of minutes before my next scheduled activity or event, and I plan everything, practically down to the second. Perhaps I should try being present in the exact moment I am in, and stop thinking about how much time I have. Because really, all I have is time, and it's going to keep consuming me if I don't try to slow it down and make the most of each moment.

There's an update in the works on my past 25 days. It's been quite the ride, and I just want to let you know that I'm still here.

Frustration. Flexibility. FEMA.

I am FEMA Flexible. I am FEMA Flexible. I am FEMA Flexible. I am FEMA Flexible. I. AM. FEMA. FLEXIBLE. 

If I say it enough, it'll be true, right?

More like if I type it enough, it starts to look like a foreign word. Anyway, yesterday was our first interaction with FEMA. We went to Baton Rouge, LA to the FEMA JFO (Joint Field Office) for our equipment issuing. Each person received (or was supposed to receive) a Smartphone (AT&T Blackberry), a Laptop (Dell), and a little thing that connects us securely to Wi-Fi. We all waited in a room and went in two at a time and got our equipment. Then we were sent to another room to get everything activated, registered, and set up. After waiting for over an hour and a half, probably closer to two, and being back in forth on the phone with the helpdesk company and getting new passwords, someone finally listened to me that I couldn't log in to my computer. It turns out that it was a network issue where I was sitting, and nothing to do with the passwording that they told me was the problem. The only reason that this was frustrating was because it happened to someone who was sitting a couple places away from me and they moved him to a new location and got him going. As I was sitting there watching other people finish all of the processes, I wasn't even close to starting. My biggest fear at that point was that everyone was going to be waiting for me at the end, tired and hungry, and I wouldn't be able to leave yet so they'd be waiting on me. This ended up being mostly true. I don't feel like explaining all of the problems individually, especially since it will make me re-live the stresses of it all, but it shouldn't have taken 5 hours to complete these tasks. I actually still haven't finished, because I couldn't get my Wi-Fi connector set up with my computer and we had to leave. I'll sit down over the weekend and try again. It was extremely difficult to stay composed and calm, but I definitely shut down for a while and didn't want to talk to anyone. I'm not really proud of the fact that I let my frustration take over but I also didn't have anywhere to direct it. I feel like that might happen again and I need to handle it differently next time. However, when we go through and do this with our corps members, I am going to go back with the attitude that it is a different day and there is potential that they took the time to work out the kinks.

I would also like to mention that Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are our PT days. Since we left at 5:30am, we didn't do morning PT, so we were supposed to do it when we returned. We got back at 8pm. Hats off to those who played basketball in the sweltering gym, but I wasn't about to push myself any harder. Nicole guided me through an outstanding yoga session, which felt great on my body and my mind. I felt so much better and it was a perfect way to release all of the negative energy from the day. I hope to keep up with it a little bit, because it was incredibly healing and refreshing. 

Now after that, lets get positive. Today was supervisor training, which we will continue tomorrow. We had an amazing instructor and I loved everything he had to say and everything he taught us. It wasn't only good advice and information and tools for being a team leader, but they are things that can be used anywhere in life. If you have 20 minutes, watch this video here, I think that these lessons will stick with me. It is a Ted Talk video, which I already love and I hadn't seen this one before. I highly recommend that you check it out. We learned a lot about situational leadership and adapting our leadership styles. I'll do a full update after its all over but I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. We also have 6:30am Zumba for PT tomorrow, but I'm not as excited for that- I've never been really good at Zumba, but I'll put in a solid effort.  

I'm also getting super into the episode of Project Runway that's on right now (they're making outfits out of carnival prizes) so I'm going to leave you with this until next time :)