This blog is making me carsick.

I have been dying to blog for what feels like forever. Really probably since my LAST blog post. And now I'm blogging from the 15p on my phone which will inevitably make me nauseous. I just haven't gotten around to it, we have had so much going on! Okay I need to stop, I hate making excuses for myself. I just didn't do it, okay?! Stop judging me, I see you with your judge-y face on. Put that away and read.

A lot has happened since my last post! We've made it past halfway through round 2, and we are well past halfway through the program. I'll actually be on campus in 19 days and graduating in 82 days! Time has flown by. 

We had another team come stay with us last weekend and I got the lovely company of three other team leaders. It was glorious! Our teams hiked and ate together, played music, and had lots of fun. Also, everyone on my team had a huge heart-to-heart two weeks ago when I stepped out for the day, and they all talked out their problems and hugged it out and even cried a little and it was the best thing to ever happen to them for team morale. So the past two weeks have been the happiest I've seen them all since CTI. We've had the best two weeks ever, and we're all going out for pizza tonight. 

Anyway, I try to center my blog posts around a topic but I feel like this is just so much information that I can't! Our work in the deployment branch is going so well, and I can't disclose anything else at this time but we're loving it. We're a little TOO used to it, because I want to answer every phone call I receive with "FEMA Deployment this is Allie" and every time I get introduced to someone I want to ask them to spell their name for me. Virginia is as beautiful as ever and the weather is getting to be pretty nice (except for that snow we are supposed to get Monday... Shhh!) 

I'm honestly just so happy that my team settled some of their differences. It's beautiful to get in the van and hear laughter, and work out together and hear encouraging phrases. They cook together and race to help each other clean up and do dishes. It really did happen in less than a day, they woke up that Sunday on the verge of civil war and went to bed as friends. I wish I could say I had something to do with their progress, but I think it shows a lot that someone took the initiative to start that conversation, and I don't think I ever need to know what was said that day. 

Come to think of it, one of the themes for this round is pleasant surprises. I've had so many happy, wonderful things just appear out of nowhere, and I hope that all of the bad is done and over with. I'd like to finish these last 82 days as positively as possible.

100 Days

This past week, FEMA Corps Class 20 reached a milestone in our service year: 100 days until Graduation! Congratulations, Class 20. We've gone from 10 months (283 days) (11 months/316 days for us TLs!) to only 100 days. 2/3 of the way there!

Then I got thinking. 100 isn't a large number. There are 100 pennies in one dollar. 100 = 10 groups of 10. What can I do in 100 days? And what can I do to make sure I have my post-AmeriLife set up in 100 days? It's crunch time, folks.  

With the 100 days I have left with my team, I can't think of enough ways to show them how much this year has meant to me and how much they mean to me. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure we all enjoy our last 100 days together and make great memories. They're the reason I'm here. 

With the 100 days I have left to plan my life after AmeriCorps, I'm obsessively checking vacancy announcements at desired agencies (thanks to all of the free time in the world at work, they established another call center and our work has slowed down by more than half) and fine-tuning resumes, drafting cover letters, obtaining college transcripts, and applying to jobs. 

With the 33 days I have left in Virginia for Round 2, I'm making the best of it. This place will always hold a special place in my heart and I'm hoping my post-AmeriCorps plans will get me back in the area or close to it, ideally working in DC. There's nothing more wonderful than the people I've met here, both at work and outside of the job, and I couldn't ask for a better location. My team's lodging site is perfect and beautiful, the drive to and from work always includes gorgeous sunrises and sunsets, and the areas around us are quaint, safe, and offer enough to keep us entertained. 

I'll never feel like I have enough time for anything. As excited as I am for this program to wrap up and move on to other opportunities, I won't have enough time with Team Green, Gulf Unit, or my G2 Beauties. I didn't have enough time with my temp group, Cloud 9, or enough time in Denver. I didn't have enough time at home for Winter Break. I don't have enough time in the day to complete everything I hope for. I know nothing is going to last forever, myself included, and I've learned that while it may never last long enough, there is a lot you can do to make the most of the moment you're in  right now, and what you DO have. I've been hearing it since the beginning: It's what you make of it. You'll get out of it what you put into it. It's true. I'm going to put my absolute best into these next 100 days, so that myself and my team get nothing but the best in return. We all deserve to finish this program strong, and to walk away feeling like we had an outstanding year of service. :) 

Mobile Blogging

I can't blog at work, or on my work laptop... Something about my ancient browser not bring supported. But this has been on my mind this week. 

If you are on any social media site, you've seen a "hashtag" which is meant to attach a post to a trending topic and make it more "visible" or something. I won't get into it too much. But on Tuesday, there is a certain one called "Transformation Tuesday" where the idea is to Instagram an old photo of you and a current one and look at how much you've changed. I haven't really participated very often, maybe once in the past. But this past Tuesday I took two very similar photos of myself, one from February 2007 and one from December 2013 and put them side-by-side. Here is the result: 

I look so much like the same person. My face has thinned in some areas and widened in others, that's what the difference between 16 and 23 is. Anyone looking at the photos would see that my hair still curls the same way over my forehead, I have red-eye because of my bright blue eyes, I have lines around my smile and my chin, and I'm happy as ever posing next to my best friends in formal dresses. Even though I look almost the exact same in the two photos, years of growing and learning and experiencing life have completely transformed me as a person. I could go on for DAYS about how I've changed and grown, and I'm sure that anyone who knows me could give you a few sentences on that, but what's really important is that we need to look for transformations in ourselves and those around us in ther actions, not only their appearance. And in AmeriCorps, my job is to help my team members grow and change and live for something bigger than their appearance. The size of your heart or the knowledge in your brain can't be reflected in a hair cut or by dropping a dress size. Don't let your inner self suffer because your outer self wants the most likes on next week's "Transformation Tuesday." Instead, think of how you've transformed yourself. Have you helped transform other people? 

And finally,

Are you a transformer?

Traditions: Can you create them?

Every family has traditions, and as we reflect upon our lives we often easily recall moments centered around these traditions, whether they be holidays, summer events, school vacation weeks, weekends... anything that was routine that we could count on happening often enough for us to remember to do it, but not too often so that we get tired of it. For some, these are things like what to eat on birthdays, or watching a movie on Sundays, or having spaghetti on Wednesdays. For my family, traditions include turkey for breakfast on Thanksgiving (and for dinner) and turkey for breakfast on Christmas. We went to the fair every year but I don't know if that was tradition, habit, or just a way to spend our long weekend. Now, I'm not sure if this is how it happened, but forgive me. I think I was eleven or twelve at the time, so my pre-teen brain was a little funky. Sometime in my late years of elementary school (I think 6th? I think I was 12?) a little cafe opened up in our town. We got up ridiculously early and went before my sisters had to go to school. They were in the middle & high school so we probably left around 6:30. And then we did this, every single Friday. Friday became "Coffee Day." There were times I moaned and groaned about waking up to go sit in a cafe with my sisters, and there were times I couldn't get there fast enough to get a chocolate chip muffin and a chocolate milk. There were times I was just too damn tired to get out of bed that early. But honestly, I loved it. And even in my senior year, my mom and I would take two cars (I needed mine after school, she had to work and I had practice, a game, or work) and we would go get coffee or breakfast (by that time, our little cafe had closed and another reopened, and we usually just went to Dunkin Donuts or a little diner instead) and enjoyed our coffee together. Sometimes it was rushed, but we still made the effort, and I'll never forget those coffee days.

Every family has traditions. As I reflect upon my year, I don't have many memories centered around these types of moments. Right now, I find myself in a new family that was just built. It wasn't built on love and marriage and the joining of two families and a bunch of babies, we weren't friends who decided to move in together, and we didn't find each other on Craigslist. We were sort of thrown into a house together and told to get along and play nice; I was told to make sure everyone gets along and plays nice, and goes to work on time. We don't have traditions yet. It's hard to establish traditions, they're usually something you're born into, and it's especially difficult to establish traditions when you're just trying to establish common ground. But perhaps one can help the other. What do nine 18-25 year olds have in common? They all like coffee. They all hate Mondays. We all have to get up early. So I decided to make the best of it with coffee. We are now leaving our house 20 minutes early every Monday to stop at the Dunkin Donuts that we pass on the way to work for our own little Coffee Day, to help make everyone's week begin with a treat. Hopefully this little tradition will stick with us through the end of the program, and help be the creator of some fond memories for my teammates. It's not an original idea (Thanks, Mom!) but I'm hoping that it will have a positive outcome.

Learning to live... with you.

We've had about one full week here in the Shenandoah Valley. The snow has kept us home today, but we're still working on AmeriCorps requirements and reviewing our training notes from the office. And blogging, because why not? 

Just for fun: we live with 9 people in 1 house. Here's our "pantry" that lasts us for one week. It doesn't last longer than that!

The past week has been a whole new world. Denver was populated, we were separated from each other, we were mixed with other teams. We didn't hang out in the same room every night and we weren't together ALL. THE. TIME. The worst part? We didn't get to know each other. 

At the beginning, we did light team bonding activities that didn't go over well and received low responses. We had team meetings to review updates and information, and then we were on our way. We got to Denver, and everyone worked in different areas. We only ate together 3 times each week, and our Team PT usually involved other teams so we could have bigger games. Having other teams to be around in Denver was great for our social lives, but it was highly toxic to my team's morale. Did I love it? Absolutely. Is that a bad thing? Probably. 

I'm not usually the first to admit my faults, but I know I could have done more to bring my team together. However, it would have felt forced and unnatural and I hate to be "that guy" who is always forcing people into activities that they hate. I don't really like to be the asshole, although as a Team Leader it kind of happens a lot.

Being here in the Shenandoah Valley is a different experience for us. We all live in one building, TOGETHER! We cook TOGETHER and eat TOGETHER and work out TOGETHER. The girls share a room, the guys share a room, and I have my own room (one of the TL perks. It usually doesn't happen so I'm enjoying it while it lasts). We have space for meetings and games. We have a game table! It's full of things for us to do together. It's pretty awesome, all of this "togetherness."

I should probably get to the point of this post. The togetherness is killing us. We're just not very good at it. I'm not good at it - I'm an introvert. I'm trying and pushing myself (quite far) to develop my extraverted side. But there are 8 other people who function quite differently than I do, and differently from each other (only two people are the same on their Myers-Briggs test, the rest of us are different!). So I am running a series of Team Workshops to help us learn how we all function. Our first one was Myers-Briggs. While it may not be 100% accurate, it helps us get the general idea that people function differently and have different social needs. If we remember that other people are introverted or extraverted, or that people have stronger feelings or need step-by-step directions or a fully planned out daily schedule, we open ourselves to be accepting of other styles and remember that we each might need to stretch to find a middle ground. For this workshop, we went through each trait and split into groups, and wrote a list of 5 things that will help the opposite work with us, what we need from them, and what about us that we want them to understand. The feedback from the team was really positive, and I hope that we'll continue on a positive path.

A common subject brought up by all members is positivity. They want each other to be more positive, but there are still a lot of bad attitudes floating around, and we are all guilty. Negativity is contagious and misery loves company, but positivity is contagious too. This week we are going to move in to attitudes and moods, and hopefully it generates constructive discussion. I've talked to a few team members about this already, and I'm still receiving input, but so far we've decided that we are going to approach topics from "Can I talk to you before you have your coffee?" to "When you're down, what can I do to lift you back up?" If you had asked me about these conversations before joining AmeriCorps, I would have told you that conversations like this are "bullsh*t" and "unimportant" and that "they don't matter" but honestly, it helps people live in a team environment together. When I think of living with people, I think of family. I've always struggled with roommates, and I lived by myself for my last year of college. Other than that, it's been immediate family. My parents have known me for my entire life. They don't need to ask me what they can do for me if I'm down, they already know. My sisters know when I'm grumpy before I do. The only other person I would picture living with would be a spouse, and not that I have any experience, but I would imagine that those are the kind of relationships where you already know a lot about that person and are willing to compromise. The people you've lived with for your whole life are those who you have been able to mold from, and you have molded them in ways too.  Its is a very different feeling from being thrown into a house with 9 very different people from very different places. You have to learn new things and ways of interacting, and learn how to live with them, because this isn't your childhood home anymore. The little things are usually the things that matter the most, because of perception. Everyone perceives differently, and an issue that seems minuscule to one person is likely a grenade to someone else.

My biggest hope for this round is that we all learn to live together, have fun together, and be open with each other. I feel terrifyingly like my parents when I say this, but the biggest Team Goal I have for Round 2 is one day, just ONE DAY out of our two and a half months, that everyone is pleasant, no one fights, and we all just get along.

I can hear my dad right now in my head, "Good luck, Kid."

Long overdue... and a piece on diversity.

I keep telling myself that I need to update this blog, but then I tell myself that it can wait, and other things need to get done first. 

Today, nothing needs to get done first. I am in a beautiful little coffee shop in an old part of some town in Virginia (That's probably the most I can tell you). It is the exact same shape and size as a perfect little wine bar that a few Team Leaders and I discovered during our last weekend in Denver, and is just as cozy. I think I'm gonna like it here.

After departing Denver on December 17, we went back to campus in Vicksburg for a couple days, cleaning up and helping in the supply room and unpacking and repacking our belongings for our trips home for Winter Break. I was too far past exhausted and a million kinds of overwhelmed to even consider opening up my laptop, let along writing an entire blog post to summarize Round 1. Over Winter Break, I was much happier sitting with my family and cooking real food and playing with my nephews to want to be on my computer much at all. The time I spent with my family over break was what recharged me and what helped me regain enough strength to return. The thought of not returning didn't cross my mind, but I definitely needed that two-week recovery period before returning to the program.

Round 1 sucked the life out of me. I loved it, because between through every trial and all of the tears, lessons, and difficult days there were the amazing days and the fun times, a thousand laughs, and a recurring sense of accomplishment. Ups and downs are exhausting. It's like running up and down hills for 2 and a half months. No matter how happy it makes you, and how well you do, how many breaks you take, you're going to feel tired at the end of it. I am endlessly grateful for the opportunities I've had, the people I've met, and the team that I have. I've learned so much about myself and other people, and I am currently learning how to better myself and bring the best out in me so that in Round 2, I can bring out the best in others. It's not easy, but I can do this. I am practicing how I can work with each individual on my team and highlight their best qualities and find their best moods, so everyone can benefit. I don't know if I'll accomplish this, but I am hoping that just giving extra effort and trying really hard will have some sort of benefit. I guess I'll find out.

I have never been so confident in my leadership skills while being terrified and fearing that they don't exist at the same time. I know they're there. Or is it "here?" I wouldn't be here if I didn't have them, but every day I question myself. I still panic that I can't do this, but somehow I wake up the next day and here I am, and suddenly we're all going out the door and off to another day of work. 

That brings me to my next point. Work. We're in Northern Virginia, at a FEMA facility. It's a million kinds of awesome. We're working with the deployment branch, and the Automated Deployment Database (ADD). We will be calling reservists to deploy them, and updating employee information in the system. We are all working on the same task, together. I'm really excited about this, because as a team we will be experiencing the same thing. We also live together in a lodge at a summer camp. It's pretty cool, it even came with two pet birds, at least one pet mouse, and a family of stinkbugs. Our outdoor pets include a few dozen deer and at least one skunk. It did NOT come with cell phone service or WiFi. So we're pretty isolated with our wildlife pets, and there's a trail behind the lodge that leads to the Appalachian Trail. It's comparable to a black hole as far as technology goes, but we are really close to nature (immersed in it, really) and it's great to all live together in a sort of house that we have all to ourselves. We have space for indoor and outdoor PT and to have team meetings after work and be able to hang out together. We've hit the AmeriCorps jackpot as far as living goes. Most people think it sounds terrible, but I would take a two hundred nights in this lodge with my team over two months in an Extended Stay Motel. We also have an awesome job, and a really awesome office team that we'll be working with. Our POCs are incredible and we're in the best location. We're in for a really awesome Round 2, and my energy is so much higher than it was in Round 1. I'm a different kind of motivated, and I honestly feel like I wake up every day with a purpose, and I know I'll be going to bed feeling much more accomplished every night. 

Oh, and just to add - The Appalachian Mountains and The Rocky Mountains are both a million kinds of beautiful, but are completely incomparable. I love this area and I find it breathtakingly beautiful, but I felt that way about Denver, too. It's just a different kind of beautiful. 

Which also reminds me, I'd like to leave you with two quotes today. One is what got me through this week. I have NO IDEA who said it, but I've said it to myself at least a dozen times this week. I've really had to check my own attitude a couple of times. "You can't live a positive life with a negative mind." It starts with yourself. Take some initiative and hold yourself accountable. Don't make someone else try to change your attitude, it's impossible and it's exhausting for them. Trust me, I definitely have experience in that.

The second one was an effort to explain diversity to someone who said that diversity isn't a "thing" and we need to all be equal and a bunch of negative things that I don't want to repeat or discuss on here. When my efforts to explain that diversity isn't just skin color, but is made up of so much more and why we should celebrate diversity were failing, a team member looked up and gave a perfect metaphor. It was almost too good to be true, so I asked where he heard it. He said "well, I wrote a paper on these two artists, and I was taught that if you can't explain something with words, you should try art." Which I thought was just as wonderful as the actual explanation he gave. It went like this: "Take a Turner and a Monet, they're both beautiful paintings but the methods to create them were completely different. We are all equally beautiful people, but we were created differently, and that is diversity." I don't think it needs more of an explanation. Sometimes you just need to close your eyes, but keep your mind wide open.

A mini-update

We're halfway through round 1 in Denver, CO. I write this blog as I hang out at a local coffee shop, buying tea instead of coffee because it's cheaper and I feel guilty bumming Wi-Fi off of a place without being a paying customer. 

Okay, so it's not THAT bad, but it's a true story. But honestly, Free WiFi is the AmeriCorps equivalent of Gold. Want something done by a 20-something year old? Offer them WiFi in return. And/or a cup of coffee. You'll be amazed at the excitement that suddenly appears.

I have a lot of things I've learned, but mostly I've been using previous lessons to handle situations. I am surrounded by Team Green friends and love, and I have minimal personal issues and just spend my time trying to balance team life, my life, and overcome team obstacles. I don't think I'm in the mood for a heavy self-reflection, so I'm going to go over my top AmeriCorps Life Lessons:

Here are a few rules/guidelines/thing I've learned while here:

• Never say no to free food. If you don't want it, someone on your team does.
• You'll only be nervous about spending a day in a coffee shop to use their Wi-Fi the first time.
• If it costs money, you better do a thorough cost-benefit analysis in your head and figure how much money you're spending per smallest unit possible (second, crumb, step, etc.) and what type of return on investment you're getting to determine the answer to the big question: Is it worth it?
• Full price? What's that? Never, ever pay full-price for anything because you can get it cheaper. Except coffee. Usually, one pays full-price for coffee. And that's okay.
• *Never pay full-price for a RedBox movie.
• Snail mail is cool. Email is cheaper, but when you have limited WiFi access, sacrifices must be made. It is also more fun to send and receive letters than it is to click "send" and receive notifications on your phone.
• Cooking involves cleaning and both are exhausting when you have to do them ALL. THE. TIME. 
• No, seriously. Cleaning has to happen a minimum of 3x/day to keep a tiny motel room livable. 
• Unfolded laundry is the devil. It makes everything seem like Hell. Tackle that task right away. 
• You never know the meaning of too many clothes until you live in AmeriCorps, because while you always have too many, you never EVER have enough. Don't try to fill that void, just learn to accept it and move on. You'll never achieve that perfect balance.
• Target is a magical place, but don't go there. Just DON'T DO IT. Any place that includes makeup, clothes, cute stationery, winter accessories, AND starbucks is a trap. You don't need it.
• Take care of each other, especially your roommates. Sometimes someone else might just need you to cook a little extra so they can have some too. Don't rely on them to make the bed every day, don't get mad that you're the only one who hangs the floor towel up outside of the shower. Or even if you're the only one who gets toilet paper from the front desk. It may feel like it goes unnoticed, but when you need them to take care of you, they will. 

I must say, I am having the time of my life here. It's one wild rollercoaster ride, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I love it here, and it is pushing me to keep doing these awesome things with my life. When I expressed that I wanted to join AmeriCorps, most people thought I was off my rocker and completely lost my mind, or I was on some crazy hippie journey to better the world (it consequently happened at the same time I decided to go vegan) but in all reality, it just felt like a good idea. And to be honest, it was the best idea I've ever had. There are days when I already wish it could be June and I'd be done with the program, but most days I am so happy where I am and so thankful for the things in my life that got me to where I am today. I appreciate life outside of the program a lot more, and realize how much I took for granted. That's one of the big reasons I joined. I knew that I never had to live a challenging life or face any hardships, and I wanted to refocus myself and adjust my outlook. And I definitely have. I see myself including service into the rest of my life, maybe not on a 24/7 all-year scale, but I'll continue to do as much as I can. I'm only 1/3 of the way through this program and 1/2 of the way through this project, so I am excited for my upcoming experiences and I'll try to update this blog more often (given that I have access to WiFi). My work here is far from over, and I still have lessons to learn.